Why did you go on sabbatical?
I’ve always been a curious person. Most people who know me—friends, family, colleagues—would describe me as someone full of energy, someone who loves asking questions and diving deep into people’s stories. For most of my life, this curiosity and energy felt endless.
I spent the last four years working in Nairobi, Kenya, as the first employee at an early-stage startup. It was an experience I cherished, especially building something from the ground up. But entrepreneurship, combined with the weight of COVID, began to take its toll.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve worn my work ethic as a badge of honor. I was raised to believe that hard work was the only way forward. As an immigrant in the U.S., the stakes were even higher. Success wasn’t optional—it was a ladder to a better future, a way to honor the sacrifices that came before me. So, I pushed through. Always.
But somewhere in the midst of the pushing, I lost something.
My curiosity disappeared. My energy vanished.
No amount of rest—vacations, meditation, or sleep—could fix it. I would come back from a two-week trip and still feel exhausted by noon on a Monday.
Through journaling, therapy, and meditation, I began uncovering uncomfortable truths. I realized I’d become addicted to achievement as a way to validate my self-worth. Staying busy was my shield against emotions I didn’t want to face: sadness, anger, and the deep discomfort of feeling lost.
So, for the first time in my life, I made a decision that felt radical: I took a break. Not a short vacation, but a real pause. A sabbatical. It still feels “selfish” to write that, but deep down, I know it wasn’t selfish—it was necessary. I told my boss, my family, my friends, and my partner: I need this. I need to take care of myself, my heart, my body, and just see what comes up.
Where did you go and what did you do?
My journey started with reconnecting. I spent a month traveling around Europe, visiting lifelong friends and enjoying the comfort of familiar faces. But I knew the real work would begin when I turned inward.
For two months, I hiked and meditated in the Himalayas, immersing myself in stillness and the vastness of nature. After that, I returned to my roots, spending time with my partner & family exploring my home country of Türkiye. From the ancient ruins of Ephesus and Gobeklitepe to the rich flavors of Gaziantep’s Katmer and Nazilli’s pide, I rediscovered the beauty of home.
Now, I find myself in Chiang Mai, soaking in its vibrant culture, temples, and incredible food.
What was the biggest challenge?
I won’t sugarcoat it: doing nothing was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (I know how ridiculous that sounds). Sitting with stillness and having no agenda felt unsettling. There were many moments where I felt emotions welling up, urging me to turn around, distract myself or “be productive.”
But in that quiet, uncomfortable space, I began learning that uncertainty isn’t a void to fear—it’s a space of emergence where something new is forming. Trusting this rhythm with patience and keeping an open heart, instead of fighting against it, became my most significant takeaway.
When you let yourself truly stop, the noise of the world quiets, and something deeper begins to emerge. Maybe life isn’t a puzzle to be solved but an experience to be felt.
What are you doing now?
Internally, I’m focusing on being rather than doing. I’m letting emergence guide me, trusting that even the moments of uncertainty are part of the process. This doesn’t mean abandoning action or ambition—it means reorienting my motivation. Less “What can I achieve?” and more “What wants to happen through me?” Less forcing outcomes, more creating space. I want to lead with presence, not pressure—with a heart that trusts the timing of things, even when I can’t see the full picture.
Externally, I’m building SabbaticalHQ with my friend Hector, helping others explore the transformative power of sabbaticals.
I’m heading back to Kenya for a close friend’s wedding and figuring out, with my partner, where we’ll live next. We have no plan—and for the first time in my life, that feels liberating.
What resources have helped you the most?
Awareness by Anthony De Mello (audiobook)
Zen Meditation Sesshin at Bodhi Zendo in Perumalmalai, India
Hiking the Manaslu Circuit in Nepal
Conscious Connected Breathwork led by Canim Kendim in İzmir, Türkiye
The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd
When Enough is Enough by Andy Johns (podcast episode)
A Quote That Resonates
“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” — Sonia Ricotti 
